The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk – 22nd Tammuz, 5769
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GuardUrEyes
A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today’s world |
Why is Sexual purity so important in Judaism? Our sages called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is fragile and in grave danger of collapse. At guardureyes.com we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people!
There is a lot of material out there on the subject of guarding the eyes and the Bris, but sometimes “too much” is overwhelming.
A little bit each day is just right, to be able to read, digest and apply it to our lives.
The booklet “Windows to the Soul” by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation, is a MAN’S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO MASTERING HIS EYES. (Right click the link and choose “Save Target/Link As” to save the PDF booklet to your computer). To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to salant@netvision.net.il
The Zohar compares this world to a churning ocean and the body of a man to a ship in the sea. Therefore, man requires knowledge in order to guide himself on a straight course, avoiding mishap and losing his way. The ocean of life roars fearfully and continuously. The winds of challenge blow and the negative impulse rips about like a tornado with unimaginable force. All of life comprises great and endless tests, which can easily capsize the ship and sink it into the murky, nethermost depths.
Yirat Shamayim and the study of Mussar will prevent the body from sinking into the miry depths of desire and corrupt character traits.
(Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer, Ohr Yisrael)
Today’s Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk
A Balanced Approach:
Treat Women with Respect
“Elokim created man in His image; in the image of Elokim He created him.”
“Common courtesy precedes Torah.”
The laws about controlling our eyes seem very extreme. And in some cases not looking at a woman could be construed as rudeness.
Yes, there are certain situations that could be uncomfortable and awkward. Naturally every situation requires tact and common sense. The law does not expect us to treat modestly dressed women as if they do not exist. The following story shows us the balance between controlling our eyes and treating women respectfully.
RABBI SIMCHA ZISSEL ZIV
Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, one of the greatest sages of Mussar, came into a restaurant accompanied by a colleague. The owner of the restaurant was delighted that two great Rabbis came to eat in her restaurant. She prepared a lavish meal and served them herself with respect and joy.
During the course of the meal, in her excitement over hosting such important guests, she told them many details about her food preparation and the running of her business. Rabbi Simcha Zissel listened attentively, responding and asking questions whereas the other Rabbi studied a book and paid no attention to the woman’s conversation.
When the guests came to pay for the meal, she refused to accept their money. “Should I lose the merit of this Mitzvah,” she explained, “for a few coins?”
Afterwards, Rabbi Simcha Zissel turned to his friend and said, “Aren’t you concerned that you ate and drank without paying?”
“What do you mean?” his companion replied, “She refused any payment!”
“You’re right,” said Rabbi Simcha Zissel, “She didn’t want any money. But she wanted very much to speak with us and you completely ignored her. Therefore you benefited from her meal without giving her any compensation.”
Rabbi Simcha Zissel was very considerate of the woman. He maintained the halachot of guarding his eyes without compromising the Torah axiom to show appreciation to others. We learn from his example that each situation requires good judgment. When women are dressed modestly, we are able to observe the Torah’s laws regarding the eyes and at the same time give them the proper respect.
TODAY: Use a balanced approach – observe the laws of Shmirat Einayim and treat women with the proper respect.
Practical Application
Tonight Steve is attending Shevah Brachot at the Cohen’s house. Before reading this e-mail, Steve wasn’t sure what the proper “Torah etiquette” is – should he thank the hostess or is it better not to say anything?
Based on today’s lesson, Steve cordially greets Mrs. Cohen when he arrives. Then he sat with a friend and participated in the festive meal and Shevah Brachot. Afterwards, he thanks Mrs. Cohen for inviting him and preparing such a delicious meal. He felt that she appreciated his compliments.
Two Free e-Books, courtesy of GuardUrEyes that will change your life!
Right click on the links below and choose “Save Link/Target As” to download them to your computer. (Print them out to read at your leisure!)
The Guard Your Eyes Handbook.
The Guard Your Eyes Attitude.
The GuardUrEyes E-mail Chizuk Lists
The Yetzer Hara thinks of new ways to win us over every day. What better way to combat him than to have some chizuk and a new insight every day!
List 1.The GuardUrEyes Chizuk List – Breaking Free.
Receive each day antidotes, tips, articles or quotes from the holy texts, therapists and fellow strugglers, to help you break free of sexual addictions, pornography and/or masturbation.
List 2.General Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim
This list will focus less on the “addiction” aspect and more on general Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim that anyone can use, addicted or not. This list is less intense and explicit than the first, and is appropriate for everyone.
Please note: We strongly advise anyone who struggles with masturbation or pornography, even if infrequently, to join the first list as well.
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The tools on GuardUrEyes network include:
Two Daily Chizuk List options (hundreds of members!)
Hundreds of tips; divided into categories; tips from therapists, tips from other sites and from fellow strugglers.
An active and thriving forum – a powerful feature of group support
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Many stories of recovery, struggles and suffering
An elaborate FAQ page
Over 20 filter options, and everything a person could want to know about filters
Important links
A section on the 12 steps
A "Kosher Isle" to help people find entertaining and more productive things to do with their time
Download here a powerful PDF file, translated from a Hebrew book called "The First Day of the Rest of My Life", to help people break free of sexual addictions
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Aryeh's Sharings 