The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk – 8th Elul, 5769
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Why is Sexual purity so important in Judaism? Our sages called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is fragile and in grave danger of collapse. At guardureyes.com we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people!
There is a lot of material out there on the subject of guarding the eyes and the Bris, but sometimes “too much” is overwhelming.
A little bit each day is just right, to be able to read, digest and apply it to our lives.
The booklet “Windows of the Soul” by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation, is a MAN’S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO MASTERING HIS EYES. (Right click the link and choose “Save Target/Link As” to save the PDF booklet to your computer). To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to email@example.com
The Zohar compares this world to a churning ocean and the body of a man to a ship in the sea. Therefore, man requires knowledge in order to guide himself on a straight course, avoiding mishap and losing his way. The ocean of life roars fearfully and continuously. The winds of challenge blow and the negative impulse rips about like a tornado with unimaginable force. All of life comprises great and endless tests, which can easily capsize the ship and sink it into the murky, nethermost depths.
Yirat Shamayim and the study of Mussar will prevent the body from sinking into the miry depths of desire and corrupt character traits.
(Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer, Ohr Yisrael)
Today’s Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk
Check out this amazing post and story from the guardureyes.com forum:
I have a pair of non-see-through sunglasses which I use for when I need to be in temptation zones. From the outside, no one can see my eyes. From the inside, I placed transparent non-see-through lamination paper, which is sticky on one side. I stuck it onto the inside of the lenses and I can only see vague shapes when I walk in questionable areas. (I can also look down and see my feet while wearing the glasses, so I don’t bump into anything when I walk). I have these glasses for a few years already, and my kids know that whenever I need to go to a mall or somewhere like that, I bring them along. Obviously they are not practical for all situations. For example, if we went out to eat with the family, I usually remove them once we are seated, making sure that I am facing a wall or at least facing away from the crowd. Also, if I need to talk with someone, I remove them to see their face and not appear rude.
I may sound extreme, but the glasses do more than just protect me. Listen to this:
Just recently, my wife gave birth. Connected to the hospital is a mall. I brought my kids to visit my wife and the baby, and then the kids wanted to eat out in the mall. I had my “sun-glasses” with me and put them on when we went into the mall. I had my kids hold my hands to make sure I went the right way and didn’t bump into anyone. It has become somewhat of a sport between my kids to hold my hands while I wear these special glasses.
On occasion, I explain to my 12 year old son – who B”H doesn’t know anything about these things yet – that Shmiras Ainayim is a very important step to Kedusha and to becoming a Tzadik. Even though he doesn’t understand why, I bring it up with him from time to time and stress how important it is not to look at women, especially non-religious women who are not dressed Tzniusdik. I believe that if you start young enough, children don’t need to understand too much, it just becomes ingrained in their minds…
So we were walking along, and my kids were holding my hands, and I was telling my son that he should look down and not look around at the non-tzniusdik pictures all around…
We found a table, ordered some sandwiches (this is Israel, so there are Glat-kosher bakeries even in non-religious malls :-) and then I went downstairs to buy a bottle of drink for the kids to share. When I came back up a few minutes later, my daughter (age 11) tells me that while I was gone, an Arab cleaning worker had pulled a magazine full of dirty pictures out from the trash bin and put it down, open, in front of my son. My son had pushed it away from himself right away, and asked my daughter to throw it back into the trash. The Arab worker had come by a few times to look if my son was looking at the magazine, but he saw that my son had pushed it away and that they had thrown it back into the trash, so he left them alone.
I was fuming mad, but I held myself back. After the meal, I found the Arab’s supervisor and told him what had happened in front of the Arab – who denied doing it (of-course). The supervisor was shocked and told me that they already had had problems with this guy in the past and would “take care of him”. The next day when I came back to take my wife home, I again met this supervisor who told me that they were going to fire him.
My point is, that when we take these type of precautions, we aren’t just protecting ourselves. If I hadn’t been talking about Shmiras Ainayim and wearing these sunglasses just a few moments before this happened, I don’t know if my son would have pushed the magazine away so fast, or even at all. And who knows if this wouldn’t have been the start of another “story” like so many others on the GUE website which often start with: “I first discovered p-rn at 12 years old when a friend showed it to me, etc…”
What we do effects our children more ways than we can imagine – even if we are not aware of it.
May Hashem protect the innocent children of Klal Yisrael from the Yetzer Hara in the merit of our own determination to purify ourselves. Amen!
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The GuardUrEyes E-mail Chizuk Lists
The Yetzer Hara thinks of new ways to win us over every day. What better way to combat him than to have some chizuk and a new insight every day!
List 1.The GuardUrEyes Chizuk List – Breaking Free.
Receive each day antidotes, tips, articles or quotes from the holy texts, therapists and fellow strugglers, to help you break free of sexual addictions, pornography and/or masturbation.
List 2.General Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim
This list will focus less on the “addiction” aspect and more on general Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim that anyone can use, addicted or not. This list is less intense and explicit than the first, and is appropriate for everyone.
Please note: We strongly advise anyone who struggles with masturbation or pornography, even if infrequently, to join the first list as well.
Click here to join one (OR BOTH) of the Chizuk lists described below.
The tools on GuardUrEyes network include:
Two Daily Chizuk List options (hundreds of members!)
Hundreds of tips; divided into categories; tips from therapists, tips from other sites and from fellow strugglers.
An active and thriving forum – a powerful feature of group support
The “Jewish Healing Group“, an anonymous 12-Step group that meets on the phone once a week
A live hotline, for people to get advice and started on their journey to recovery
Many stories of recovery, struggles and suffering
An elaborate FAQ page
Over 20 filter options, and everything a person could want to know about filters
A section on the 12 steps
A "Kosher Isle" to help people find entertaining and more productive things to do with their time
Download here a powerful PDF file, translated from a Hebrew book called "The First Day of the Rest of My Life", to help people break free of sexual addictions
A Rehab Option in Florida
Many Therapy Options
An inspiring Music Page, to chase away the impurity and inspire thoughts of Teshuvah
A "Wall of Honor" page, to keep track of your sobriety and get group support