Daily Torah Quote – 7th Teves, 5773

This you should receive from me: The world will not fool you!
(Rebbe Nachman of Breslov)

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Joke of the day – 6th Teves, 5773

Three mothers are gathered and boasting about their children. One boasts of her son, the head of a medical department; the other has a son who is a Judge, and a daughter Psychiatrist. One of the women is quiet through it all. Finally, they turn to her and ask: “Well, what does your son do?” “He’s a rabbi!” “A rabbi? What kind of a profession is that for a nice Jewish boy?”

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Daily Torah Quote – 6th Teves, 5773

Rabbi Chanina son of Tradyon would say: Two who sit and no words of Torah pass between them, this is a session of scorners, as is stated, “And in a session of scorners he did not sit” (Psalms 1:1). But two who sit and exchange words of Torah, the Divine Presence rests amongst them, as is stated, “Then the G-d-fearing conversed with one another, and G-d listened and heard; and it was inscribed before Him in a book of remembrance for those who fear G-d and give thought to His name”.
(Malachi 3:16), (Avot 3)

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Joke of the day – 5th Teves, 5773

A man is having a conversation with G-d, and he says, “G-d, with all of Your power, majesty and greatness, how does a million years appear in Your eyes?” The answer: a second. “Well, G-d, with your infiniteness and omnipotence, how does a billion dollars appear in Your eyes?” The answer: a penny. “So G-d, please, please give me half a penny.” The answer: in half a second.

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Daily Torah Quote – 5th Teves, 5773

Joy is the greatest commodity! It provides motivation and vitality to the body and soul. The slightest inclination towards sadness causes physical sluggishness. Rabbi Shlomo of Karlin would say: “Sadness is not a transgression, but sadness can do to a person what even the worst transgression could not do.”
(Rabbi Shlomo of Karlin)

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Joke of the day – 4th Teves, 5773

A poor Yeshiva boy marries the daughter of a very rich man. The happy father is overwhelmed at the marriage of his daughter and offers the young man one-third of his business and a senior position in the company. He tells the young man: “I’ll make you my Vice President of manufacturing.” The boy replies: “Dad, I appreciate your offer but I don’t think this is really what I want to do.” The father then continues: “Well, perhaps I should offer you the position of Vice President of Finance.” The boy replies: “Dad, I appreciate your consideration, but again this is just not my field.” Whereupon the slightly disappointed father-in-law continues: “My son, I offer you the position of Vice President of Sales.” The boy replies: “Dad, I greatly appreciate your generosity, but I don’t think I’m really meant for sales.” The father-in-law is now somewhat annoyed: “Well, what is it you want to do?” The boy replies: “Dad, I want you to buy me out.”

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