Joke of the day – 7th Kislev, 5773

The veteran rabbi has gone to his reward in the World to Come, and they receive him courteously and ask him to take a comfortable seat until they find him appropriate accommodations. After a long wait during which he’s constantly reminding them that he is waiting (suspecting that they have forgotten about him), there is a great commotion and they roll out a red carpet, and stand ready to greet the newcomer. The rabbi wonders: Who can they be receiving? A tremendous rabbinic leader? Who could it be? Sure enough, in walks this Egged bus driver with short pants, open shirt and a “Tembool” cap. As soon as he walks in, they cheer, fawn on him and whisk him up to a suite especially prepared. The rabbi stands shocked. When he regains his composure he walks up to the front desk and he says: “What’s going on around here? Where’s the justice? I’ve been giving sermons for 60 years, all my life! And I’m kept waiting and this bus driver is given the royal treatment?” So they tell him: “Pardon us, rabbi. But, you see, when you gave a sermon, everyone fell asleep. When he started driving, everyone started praying!”

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Joke of the day – 6th Kislev, 5773

A picky customer comes to a small food shop and sees a new delivery of fresh fruit. “Give me two kilograms of oranges and wrap every orange up in a separate piece of paper, please,” he says to the saleswoman. She does. “And three kilograms of cherries, please, and wrap up every one in a separate piece of paper, too.” She does. “And what is that there,” he asks pointing out a bushel basket in the corner. “Raisins,” says the saleswoman, “but they are not for sale!”

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