Shmiras Haloshon Yomi Day 89 Third-Party Support

 

Shmiras Haloshon Yomi – Learning the Laws of Proper Speech – 1st Elul, 5769

Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation

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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi

23 Av, 5769 / August 13, 2009

Day 89 – Third-Party Support

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM – Laws of Rechilus 1:3

        The Chofetz Chaim begins the laws of rechilus with some fundamental points. Good intentions do not remove a statement from the category of rechilus. If a statement can cause ill will it is forbidden, regardless of the speaker’s good intentions.

        The Chofetz Chaim focuses on a common tactic used in arguments between husband and wife, child and parent or employee and employer. Often, people name a third party as supporting their opinion.

        A wife tells her husband, “Even your sister agrees with me. She says I’m right.” A son tells his mother, “Even David’s mother says I’m right that boys my age should be allowed to drive.” An employee tells his boss, “You know, your friend Mr. Friedman told me that I’m worth a lot more than you’re paying me.”

        Using another person’s opinion to bolster your case does not win arguments. Often it serves to infuriate the person with whom you are arguing. The employer who is underpaying his employee will not suddenly be won over to his employee’s way of thinking because his friend thinks that the man deserves a raise. The more likely response is, “What right does he have to interfere? What does he know about my business?” The mother whose son wants to drive will not suddenly change her mind based on another mother’s opinion. Her response most likely will be, “How dare she meddle in matters between myself and my child?”

        Despite its ineffectiveness, people use this strategy for a simple reason. They feel that it strengthens their position by turning it into a majority opinion. The hope is that the opposing party will feel outnumbered and therefore capitulate.

        But Halachah looks past the strategies to the end result, and it identifies this strategy as one that is likely to create ill will. And that is why it is forbidden.

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Today 1st Elul 5769 Little Mitzvos

 

Today 1st Elul, 5769 – “Little Mitzvos

Little Mitzvos Org

You may think, how does one little Mitzvo help . . .

Our times are calling out to us to do Teshuva, but it’s too hard for us to change our lives. Even when we try, we end up reverting back to nothing, everything as was. We MUST show HaShem that we are seeing the signs and that it means something to us.

In this way, when HaShem asks what did we did, we can reply “I took this on…”

You must not consider this “Little Mitzvos” as a replacement for the Shulchan Oruch – you must continue learning Halochos via mainstream Seforim and with Shiurim.

Bein Adam LeChavero

Family

Thank family before going to sleep for something they’ve done during the day.

Source: Little Mitzvos Org

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Avodah Innocent Observations 1st Elul 5769

 

Avodah – Innocent Observations – 1st Elul, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

Innocent Observations

A High Speed Chase Through The Streets Of Yerushalayim

Yesterday as my wife and I were walking towards the street to get to our car to go meet my sister who was visiting, our neighbor who was frantic stopped us. One of the neighbors had called her and told her that she just saw her mentally handicapped 12 year old daughter get onto a city bus. This is a girl who’d have trouble identifying herself and certainly could not provide anyone with an address or phone number.

She didn’t know what to do so we told her to quickly get into our car because staying home is not the answer. We wondered how we could catch the bus and if it was still in the neighborhood. We weren’t sure exactly how much time had elapsed. The first plan was to try to cut the bus off before it left the neighborhood. We did not follow the route of the bus since we wanted to cut it off and my wife and her discussed the possibility that someone who knows her may have taken her off at a previous stop. While they argued, I was the one with the wheel and I already decided that we won’t take any chances and will find the bus to see if she is on it before backtracking.

To make a long story short we made a mad chase through the city after the bus, stopping every few bus stops to ask how much before the bus had passed and see how close we were getting. Ten minutes, seven and a half, another shortcut brought us down to three, then one, then suddenly we saw the bus before us. Not taking any chances we quickly drove two stops ahead so we’d be in good position to assault the bus and do a quick search. When the bus pulled up, there she was sitting in the front seat one of the few remaining passengers on the bus. I quickly pulled her off for an emotional reunion with her mother who was waiting in the car davening that we’d find her. We then drove them back home and headed out to my sister, only half an hour late.

Why am I telling you this story? After things calmed down my wife asked me, “So don’t you feel really good that we were able to do something really special today?” She was probably only half surprised by my answer when I told her not at all.

When I come up to Shamayim and they review yesterday’s day in my life, way before we get to this interesting episode, they will ask me a few questions. Did you get up on time and jump out of bed? Were you from the Asara Rishonim in Shul and ready before davening started? When you were wearing your tefilin and you were wrapped in your talis like a malach, were you crowning Hashem with your Tefilos and destroying the evil forces or were you thinking about the work ahead of you that day, sullying your special uniform as a soldier in Hashem’s army? Did you learn like you should have? How many precious moments did you waste not being productive? Did you think about the bracha before you ate?

When they get to the later part of the day they will probably say, “Oh how nice! What a kind deed you did! Was it fun? Did you feel really proud? Did you do this for Hashem or was this just a humanitarian effort?”

True, every good deed gets rewarded beyond imagination. But the battle is not won by coming up with a nice resume of things you did. The game we play here on earth is about how we lived our life. Do we take responsibility for every second we are in this world, or are we just here on duty waiting for the call that can come any moment and we are allowed to spend our waiting time however we see fit?

Imagine running out in the morning without saying good bye to your spouse. Then during the day you ignore her phone calls. You also don’t bother to do the things she asked you to do that day or pick up her groceries on the way home. But you are a smart guy and you are hungry and want to be fed supper when you come home, so you stop on the way home and buy a beautiful arrangement of flowers. Make sure they are tasty because they will probably be your dinner.

On the Kever of Rav Alexander Ziskin the Yesod V’Shoresh HaAvodah, no wordy hesped is written. All it says is his name followed by the words Eved Hashem. This may seem to belittle his greatness but on the contrary. He didn’t need a car chase to make himself feel good.

Hassid bar

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Halacha Food 1st Elul 5769

 

Halacha – Food – 1st Elul, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

When Your Bracha Transforms The Food

The Mishna Berurah writes (167:97) that one may not give an animal, bird or non-Jewish person a piece of the bread that he recited the Bracha of Hamotzi on. He explains that if one recited a hamotzi (as done typically on Shabbos) on a challah, one may not give a non-Jew a piece of that challah.

The Piskei Teshuvos (167:29) quotes from the Sefer Chasidim that this halacha applies to any food or drink that a bracha was recited on and not just to challah.

The Piskei Teshuvos writes there are those who take this one step further and pasken that any food that was on a table while divrei torah were said, should not be given to an animal, bird or non-Jew. This would seem to apply to a Shabbos seuda, where although a bracha is not made on any of the food other than the challah, since there is divrei torah said at the meal one should not give any of the leftovers from the table to an animal, bird or non-Jew to eat.

Hassid bar

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Daily Reminder 1st Elul 5769

 

Daily Reminder – 1st Elul, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

Zechiras Miriam

Stop Loshon Hora
Stop Loshon Hora

Chofetz Chaim: Avoid The Post Seudah Shlishis Shmooze

The Chofetz Chaim says (Shaar HaZechira 13), “How good and proper is it to act in the manner I heard. A wise man once advised his friend, “In the summer months do not stand outside Shul after Seudah Shlishis to Shmooze. Two people will turn into three and then four, five, and six until at the end there will be a large gathering. Each one will speak about his business dealings the previous week. It is impossible that this won’t result in Lashon Hara and Leitzanus. All this happened because of the first person. Therefore a wise man should open up his mind’s eye.”

“Zachor Eis Asher Asa Hashem L’Miriam BaDerech B’Tzaischem MiMitzrayim”

The Ramban and other Rishonim count, among the Mitzvos Aseh Min HaTorah, the mitzva of remembering and saying with your mouth each day what Hashem did to Miriam when she spoke about her brother Moshe. The Chofetz Chaim in Shaar Tvunah Perek 12 says that being Mikayem this mitzva can save you from the aveira of Lashon Hara. More than just saying the pasuk, says the Chofetz Chaim, one must think about the incident in order for it to have its intended effect.

Hassid bar

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The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk 1st Elul 5769

 

The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk – 1st Elul, 5769


GuardUrEyes


GuardUrEyes


A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today’s world

Why is Sexual purity so important in Judaism? Our sages called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is fragile and in grave danger of collapse. At guardureyes.com we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people!

There is a lot of material out there on the subject of guarding the eyes and the Bris, but sometimes “too much” is overwhelming.
A little bit each day is just right, to be able to read, digest and apply it to our lives.

The booklet “Windows of the Soul” by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation, is a MAN’S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO MASTERING HIS EYES. (Right click the link and choose “Save Target/Link As” to save the PDF booklet to your computer). To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to salant@netvision.net.il

The Zohar compares this world to a churning ocean and the body of a man to a ship in the sea. Therefore, man requires knowledge in order to guide himself on a straight course, avoiding mishap and losing his way. The ocean of life roars fearfully and continuously. The winds of challenge blow and the negative impulse rips about like a tornado with unimaginable force. All of life comprises great and endless tests, which can easily capsize the ship and sink it into the murky, nethermost depths.

Yirat Shamayim and the study of Mussar will prevent the body from sinking into the miry depths of desire and corrupt character traits.
(Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer, Ohr Yisrael)

Today’s Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk

Humility

The middah (attribute) of humility is one of the most powerful tools in learning Shmiras Ainayim. When you are in a difficult situation and feeling weak, one of the best ways to overcome the test is to just let go and say to yourself: “Who am I? What is my desire against the desire of the Creator of all the universe?!”.

A human being is capable of annulling himself before G-d and giving up his entire being to him. Happy is the man who merits to do this. Surely it is considered by Hashem as if he offered himself up on the Mizbeach as a sacrifice!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rav Nachman says that the name of the Yetzer Hara in our generation should be “Dimyon – imagination”. This is very deep, for that’s truly all the Yetzer Hara is; a big bubble of “imaginary” hot air! The desire look is sometimes so tempting and overpowering, but if we can remember and internalize that there’s really NOTHING there – it’s all DIMYON, then we can find the strength even in the most difficult situations!

Hassid bar

Two Free e-Books, courtesy of GuardUrEyes that will change your life!
Right click on the links below and choose “Save Link/Target As” to download them to your computer. (Print them out to read at your leisure!)

The Guard Your Eyes Handbook.

The Guard Your Eyes Attitude.

The GuardUrEyes E-mail Chizuk Lists

The Yetzer Hara thinks of new ways to win us over every day. What better way to combat him than to have some chizuk and a new insight every day!

List 1.The GuardUrEyes Chizuk List – Breaking Free.
Receive each day antidotes, tips, articles or quotes from the holy texts, therapists and fellow strugglers, to help you break free of sexual addictions, pornography and/or masturbation.

List 2.General Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim
This list will focus less on the “addiction” aspect and more on general Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim that anyone can use, addicted or not. This list is less intense and explicit than the first, and is appropriate for everyone.

Please note: We strongly advise anyone who struggles with masturbation or pornography, even if infrequently, to join the first list as well.

Click here to join one (OR BOTH) of the Chizuk lists described below.

The tools on GuardUrEyes network include:

       Two Daily Chizuk List options (hundreds of members!)

       Hundreds of tips; divided into categories; tips from therapists, tips from other sites and from fellow strugglers.

       An active and thriving forum – a powerful feature of group support

       The “Jewish Healing Group“, an anonymous 12-Step group that meets on the phone once a week

       A live hotline, for people to get advice and started on their journey to recovery

       Sign up for a Partner / Sponsor. Download the Questionnaire

       Many stories of recovery, struggles and suffering

       An elaborate FAQ page

       Over 20 filter options, and everything a person could want to know about filters

       Important links

       A section on the 12 steps

       A "Kosher Isle" to help people find entertaining and more productive things to do with their time

       Download here a powerful PDF file, translated from a Hebrew book called "The First Day of the Rest of My Life", to help people break free of sexual addictions

       A Rehab Option in Florida

       Many Therapy Options

       An inspiring Music Page, to chase away the impurity and inspire thoughts of Teshuvah

       A "Wall of Honor" page, to keep track of your sobriety and get group support

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Daily Writings on Kabbalah and Torah 1st Elul 5769

 

Daily Writings on Kabbalah and Torah – 1st Elul, 5769

True Kabbalah org

Everyone has different abilities depending on the tribe they represent. Let us all unify and work together in the battle against the Sitra Acher.

WISDOM CAN ONLY BE LOWERED TO A CERTAIN POINT – IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT READ IT OVER TWO THREE TIMES AND THINK ABOUT IT

Regarding the Kingship had Shaul not sinned

–  It says “you have done unwisely… else the Lord would have established your kingdom over Yisroel forever”. Shmuel talking to Shaul after he sinned.
–  This means they could have retained kingship over the children of Rochel (Ephraim, Menasha and Binyomin).
–  Yehuda has the traits of real malchus and would have controlled the children of Leah and the Shifchas (Bilah and Zilpah)
–  Meaning the tribes of Dan, Naftali, Gad, and Asher were in the middle and would have been split to the side of Yehuda because he had more connection to the position of king.

Source: TrueKabbalah.org

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