Shmiras Haloshon Yomi Day 79 Subjective Listening

 

Shmiras Haloshon Yomi – Learning the Laws of Proper Speech – 20 Av, 5769

Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation

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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi

20 Av, 5769

Day 79 – Subjective Listening

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM – Laws of Loshon Hora 10:4

      In the previous segment, we learned that it is forbidden for a person to expose someone’s faults if he himself is guilty of the same. In this segment, we learn that it is forbidden to expose a sin, even for a constructive purpose, to people who often commit the same sin and do not see anything wrong with it. The reason for this is obvious. Their sympathy will most likely rest with the wrongdoer, and in fact, they may report what was said to the subject of the criticism and thereby be guilty of rechilus (gossipmongering). This could lead to a full-scale feud and even to one Jew informing on another, if the people are of low morals.

      The Chofetz Chaim also focuses on a situation where someone rushes to the aid of a close relative. For example: Your brother tells you that someone wronged him in business and he wants your help in getting back his money. The fact that he is your brother does not change the laws of shmiras haloshon. If the seven requirements of toeles (constructive speech) have been fulfilled, then you can speak on behalf of anyone. If the seven requirements are not fulfilled, then even if your father asks you to enter the fray, you are forbidden to get involved.

      And this, the Chofetz Chaim says, is where many people stumble. If they hear that a family member is involved in a dispute, they rush to his defense without verifying the truth of the claims or the situation. They immediately “declare war,” thinking that this is a mitzvah.

      In giving us these guidelines, the Chofetz Chaim identifies the origin of many disputes:

      1.   Someone takes a side in an argument without questioning it, usually out of loyalty to a close friend or family member.

      2.   His anger is fueled by indignation that the friend or family member was wronged.

      3.   He fails to fulfill the conditions of loshon hora l’toeles.

      Following the laws of toeles faithfully will eliminate unnecessary disputes and the baseless hatred which is their natural byproduct.

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Daily Wisdom Portion of Kabbalah 20th Av 5769

 

Daily Wisdom Portion of Kabbalah – 20th Av, 5769

The Wisdom of Kabbalah

Quotes of prominent Kabbalists

Worldwide unanimous agreement

“When all the people in the world unanimously agree to annul and eradicate the desire to receive for themselves within them, and will have no other desire but to bestow upon their friends, all worries and harmful ones will be banished from the earth, and each will be secured a complete and healthy life. In the end, each of us will have a whole world to care for our needs.”

Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to the Study of The Book of Zohar

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Today 20th Av 5769 Little Mitzvos

 

Today 20th Av, 5769 – “Little Mitzvos

Little Mitzvos Org

You may think, how does one little Mitzvo help . . .

Our times are calling out to us to do Teshuva, but it’s too hard for us to change our lives. Even when we try, we end up reverting back to nothing, everything as was. We MUST show HaShem that we are seeing the signs and that it means something to us.

In this way, when HaShem asks what did we did, we can reply “I took this on…”

You must not consider this “Little Mitzvos” as a replacement for the Shulchan Oruch – you must continue learning Halochos via mainstream Seforim and with Shiurim.

Kedushas Shabbos

Bench the children on Friday night – even if its not your minhag.

Source: Little Mitzvos Org

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Halacha Tshuvos 20th Av 5769

 

Halacha – Tshuvos – 20th Av, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

Rav Chaim Kanievsky: A Free Ride Can Cost Money

If someone is standing by a bus stop and a car pulls up and offers him a lift, at the end of the trip the driver can demand that the passenger pay for the ride. We see this from the Rema (CM 246:17) which says that if someone offers you to eat with him he can charge you money at the end of the meal and it is not assumed that he was giving you a present.

Rav Chaim explains that although in the case of the meal the host has “lost” money by feeding you, in the case of the ride he may have lost another paying passenger. Even if he never charges any other passengers, it is his prerogative to give them a free ride and not give you a freebie. (Derech Sicha – Parshas Kedoshim)

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Daily Reminder 20th Av 5769

 

Daily Reminder – 20th Av, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

Zechiras Miriam

Stop Loshon Hora
Stop Loshon Hora

Off The Hook? Not So Fast…

We all know that Tshuva does not help for Lashon Hara unless the person you spoke about forgives you. We should keep in mind that once he forgives you, you are not absolved. You still need a Kapara from Hashem for being violating an aveira …and not just any aveira.

Lashon Hara is Kineged the three stringent aveiros of murder, illicit relationships, and avodah zara. If someone murdered someone and wanted to sincerely do tshuva, he would definitely without a doubt spend a lifetime trying to repent and never live it down. If you speak Lashon Hara it seems you must feel the same way. I never met anyone like that, nor do I personally feel that immense burden. Maybe I am just hanging around with the wrong crowd??

“Zachor Eis Asher Asa Hashem L’Miriam BaDerech B’Tzaischem MiMitzrayim”

The Ramban and other Rishonim count, among the Mitzvos Aseh Min HaTorah, the mitzva of remembering and saying with your mouth each day what Hashem did to Miriam when she spoke about her brother Moshe. The Chofetz Chaim in Shaar Tvunah Perek 12 says that being Mikayem this mitzva can save you from the aveira of Lashon Hara. More than just saying the pasuk, says the Chofetz Chaim, one must think about the incident in order for it to have its intended effect.

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The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk 20th Av 5769

 

The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk – 20th Av, 5769


GuardUrEyes


GuardUrEyes


A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today’s world

Why is Sexual purity so important in Judaism? Our sages called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is fragile and in grave danger of collapse. At guardureyes.com we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people!

There is a lot of material out there on the subject of guarding the eyes and the Bris, but sometimes “too much” is overwhelming.
A little bit each day is just right, to be able to read, digest and apply it to our lives.

The booklet “Windows to the Soul” by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation, is a MAN’S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO MASTERING HIS EYES. (Right click the link and choose “Save Target/Link As” to save the PDF booklet to your computer). To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to salant@netvision.net.il

The Zohar compares this world to a churning ocean and the body of a man to a ship in the sea. Therefore, man requires knowledge in order to guide himself on a straight course, avoiding mishap and losing his way. The ocean of life roars fearfully and continuously. The winds of challenge blow and the negative impulse rips about like a tornado with unimaginable force. All of life comprises great and endless tests, which can easily capsize the ship and sink it into the murky, nethermost depths.

Yirat Shamayim and the study of Mussar will prevent the body from sinking into the miry depths of desire and corrupt character traits.
(Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer, Ohr Yisrael)

Today’s Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk

 

TWENTY TIPS AND TECHNIQUES FOR SHMIRAT EINAYIM

(Tips 17 – 20)

17.  GREAT REWARD

Chazal tell us, “The more difficult the Mitzvah, the greater the reward.” Earn great reward by standing up to the challenge of avoiding improper sights.

18.  THANKS

Keep thanking Hashem for helping you master your eyes.

19.  TEST

Always remember that a difficult test strengthens you and raises you to the next level.

20.  TORAH

Human nature gravitates to impure thoughts. Learn Torah and fill your mind with purity and holiness.


This is the last post of a series from the booklet Windows of the Soul by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation. To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to salant@netvision.net.il

Below is the bibliography from the booklet which contains many good sources for reading on strengthening Shmiras Ainayim:

1.  Ohr Yisrael, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter and Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer

2.  Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer, Chapter 21

3.  Taharat HaKodesh, Rabbi Aaron Rotah

4.  Mesilat Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzato

5.  Hilchot Isur Hestaklut B’Nashim, The Poskei HaDor, Rabbi Zev Bogard

6. Yisrael Kadoshim, Rabbi Yisrael David Herpanas

7.  Kedushat Einayim, Rabbi Aaron Twisig

8.  Chut Shani, Rabbi Nissim Karelitz

9.  Kedushat HaChaim, Rabbi Aaron Chaim Neshri

10.  Ha’Er Eineinu, Rabbi Yoseph Shlomo Goldshmidt

11.  Michtav M’Eliyahu, Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler

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Two Free e-Books, courtesy of GuardUrEyes that will change your life!
Right click on the links below and choose “Save Link/Target As” to download them to your computer. (Print them out to read at your leisure!)

The Guard Your Eyes Handbook.

The Guard Your Eyes Attitude.

The GuardUrEyes E-mail Chizuk Lists

The Yetzer Hara thinks of new ways to win us over every day. What better way to combat him than to have some chizuk and a new insight every day!

List 1.The GuardUrEyes Chizuk List – Breaking Free.
Receive each day antidotes, tips, articles or quotes from the holy texts, therapists and fellow strugglers, to help you break free of sexual addictions, pornography and/or masturbation.

List 2.General Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim
This list will focus less on the “addiction” aspect and more on general Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim that anyone can use, addicted or not. This list is less intense and explicit than the first, and is appropriate for everyone.

Please note: We strongly advise anyone who struggles with masturbation or pornography, even if infrequently, to join the first list as well.

Click here to join one (OR BOTH) of the Chizuk lists described below.

The tools on GuardUrEyes network include:

       Two Daily Chizuk List options (hundreds of members!)

       Hundreds of tips; divided into categories; tips from therapists, tips from other sites and from fellow strugglers.

       An active and thriving forum – a powerful feature of group support

       The “Jewish Healing Group“, an anonymous 12-Step group that meets on the phone once a week

       A live hotline, for people to get advice and started on their journey to recovery

       Sign up for a Partner / Sponsor. Download the Questionnaire

       Many stories of recovery, struggles and suffering

       An elaborate FAQ page

       Over 20 filter options, and everything a person could want to know about filters

       Important links

       A section on the 12 steps

       A "Kosher Isle" to help people find entertaining and more productive things to do with their time

       Download here a powerful PDF file, translated from a Hebrew book called "The First Day of the Rest of My Life", to help people break free of sexual addictions

       A Rehab Option in Florida

       Many Therapy Options

       An inspiring Music Page, to chase away the impurity and inspire thoughts of Teshuvah

       A "Wall of Honor" page, to keep track of your sobriety and get group support

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