Shmiras Haloshon Yomi Day 79 Subjective Listening

 

Shmiras Haloshon Yomi – Learning the Laws of Proper Speech – 20 Av, 5769

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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi

20 Av, 5769

Day 79 – Subjective Listening

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM – Laws of Loshon Hora 10:4

      In the previous segment, we learned that it is forbidden for a person to expose someone’s faults if he himself is guilty of the same. In this segment, we learn that it is forbidden to expose a sin, even for a constructive purpose, to people who often commit the same sin and do not see anything wrong with it. The reason for this is obvious. Their sympathy will most likely rest with the wrongdoer, and in fact, they may report what was said to the subject of the criticism and thereby be guilty of rechilus (gossipmongering). This could lead to a full-scale feud and even to one Jew informing on another, if the people are of low morals.

      The Chofetz Chaim also focuses on a situation where someone rushes to the aid of a close relative. For example: Your brother tells you that someone wronged him in business and he wants your help in getting back his money. The fact that he is your brother does not change the laws of shmiras haloshon. If the seven requirements of toeles (constructive speech) have been fulfilled, then you can speak on behalf of anyone. If the seven requirements are not fulfilled, then even if your father asks you to enter the fray, you are forbidden to get involved.

      And this, the Chofetz Chaim says, is where many people stumble. If they hear that a family member is involved in a dispute, they rush to his defense without verifying the truth of the claims or the situation. They immediately “declare war,” thinking that this is a mitzvah.

      In giving us these guidelines, the Chofetz Chaim identifies the origin of many disputes:

      1.   Someone takes a side in an argument without questioning it, usually out of loyalty to a close friend or family member.

      2.   His anger is fueled by indignation that the friend or family member was wronged.

      3.   He fails to fulfill the conditions of loshon hora l’toeles.

      Following the laws of toeles faithfully will eliminate unnecessary disputes and the baseless hatred which is their natural byproduct.

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Daily Wisdom Portion of Kabbalah 20th Av 5769

 

Quotes of prominent Kabbalists

Worldwide unanimous agreement

“When all the people in the world unanimously agree to annul and eradicate the desire to receive for themselves within them, and will have no other desire but to bestow upon their friends, all worries and harmful ones will be banished from the earth, and each will be secured a complete and healthy life. In the end, each of us will have a whole world to care for our needs.”

Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to the Study of The Book of Zohar”

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Words of Wisdom

 

 

 

Today we work on performing mitzvos, tommorow we collect our reward.

Eiruvin 22a

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Today 20th Av 5769 Little Mitzvos

 

You may think, how does one little Mitzvo help . . .

Our times are calling out to us to do Teshuva, but it’s too hard for us to change our lives. Even when we try, we end up reverting back to nothing, everything as was. We MUST show HaShem that we are seeing the signs and that it means something to us.

In this way, when HaShem asks what did we did, we can reply “I took this on…”

You must not consider this “Little Mitzvos” as a replacement for the Shulchan Oruch – you must continue learning Halochos via mainstream Seforim and with Shiurim.

Kedushas Shabbos

Bench the children on Friday night – even if its not your minhag.

Source: Little Mitzvos Org

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Halacha Tshuvos 20th Av 5769

 

Rav Chaim Kanievsky: A Free Ride Can Cost Money

If someone is standing by a bus stop and a car pulls up and offers him a lift, at the end of the trip the driver can demand that the passenger pay for the ride. We see this from the Rema (CM 246:17) which says that if someone offers you to eat with him he can charge you money at the end of the meal and it is not assumed that he was giving you a present.

Rav Chaim explains that although in the case of the meal the host has “lost” money by feeding you, in the case of the ride he may have lost another paying passenger. Even if he never charges any other passengers, it is his prerogative to give them a free ride and not give you a freebie. (Derech Sicha – Parshas Kedoshim)

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Daily Reminder 20th Av 5769

 

Off The Hook? Not So Fast…

We all know that Tshuva does not help for Lashon Hara unless the person you spoke about forgives you. We should keep in mind that once he forgives you, you are not absolved. You still need a Kapara from Hashem for being violating an aveira …and not just any aveira.

Lashon Hara is Kineged the three stringent aveiros of murder, illicit relationships, and avodah zara. If someone murdered someone and wanted to sincerely do tshuva, he would definitely without a doubt spend a lifetime trying to repent and never live it down. If you speak Lashon Hara it seems you must feel the same way. I never met anyone like that, nor do I personally feel that immense burden. Maybe I am just hanging around with the wrong crowd??

“Zachor Eis Asher Asa Hashem L’Miriam BaDerech B’Tzaischem MiMitzrayim”

The Ramban and other Rishonim count, among the Mitzvos Aseh Min HaTorah, the mitzva of remembering and saying with your mouth each day what Hashem did to Miriam when she spoke about her brother Moshe. The Chofetz Chaim in Shaar Tvunah Perek 12 says that being Mikayem this mitzva can save you from the aveira of Lashon Hara. More than just saying the pasuk, says the Chofetz Chaim, one must think about the incident in order for it to have its intended effect.

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The Daily Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk 20th Av 5769

 

GuardUrEyes A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today’s world

Why is Sexual purity so important in Judaism? Our sages called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is fragile and in grave danger of collapse. At guardureyes.com we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people!

There is a lot of material out there on the subject of guarding the eyes and the Bris, but sometimes “too much” is overwhelming.
A little bit each day is just right, to be able to read, digest and apply it to our lives.

The booklet “Windows to the Soul” by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation, is a MAN’S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO MASTERING HIS EYES. (Right click the link and choose “Save Target/Link As” to save the PDF booklet to your computer). To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to salant@netvision.net.il

The Zohar compares this world to a churning ocean and the body of a man to a ship in the sea. Therefore, man requires knowledge in order to guide himself on a straight course, avoiding mishap and losing his way. The ocean of life roars fearfully and continuously. The winds of challenge blow and the negative impulse rips about like a tornado with unimaginable force. All of life comprises great and endless tests, which can easily capsize the ship and sink it into the murky, nethermost depths.

Yirat Shamayim and the study of Mussar will prevent the body from sinking into the miry depths of desire and corrupt character traits.
(Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer, Ohr Yisrael)

Today’s Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk

 

TWENTY TIPS AND TECHNIQUES FOR SHMIRAT EINAYIM

(Tips 17 – 20)

17.  GREAT REWARD

Chazal tell us, “The more difficult the Mitzvah, the greater the reward.” Earn great reward by standing up to the challenge of avoiding improper sights.

18.  THANKS

Keep thanking Hashem for helping you master your eyes.

19.  TEST

Always remember that a difficult test strengthens you and raises you to the next level.

20.  TORAH

Human nature gravitates to impure thoughts. Learn Torah and fill your mind with purity and holiness.

---

This is the last post of a series from the booklet Windows of the Soul by R’ Zvi Miller of the Salant foundation. To subscribe to eMussar, the daily lessons of the Salant Foundation, send email to salant@netvision.net.il

Below is the bibliography from the booklet which contains many good sources for reading on strengthening Shmiras Ainayim:

1.  Ohr Yisrael, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter and Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer

2.  Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer, Chapter 21

3.  Taharat HaKodesh, Rabbi Aaron Rotah

4.  Mesilat Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzato

5.  Hilchot Isur Hestaklut B’Nashim, The Poskei HaDor, Rabbi Zev Bogard

6. Yisrael Kadoshim, Rabbi Yisrael David Herpanas

7.  Kedushat Einayim, Rabbi Aaron Twisig

8.  Chut Shani, Rabbi Nissim Karelitz

9.  Kedushat HaChaim, Rabbi Aaron Chaim Neshri

10.  Ha’Er Eineinu, Rabbi Yoseph Shlomo Goldshmidt

11.  Michtav M’Eliyahu, Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler

Two Free e-Books, courtesy of GuardUrEyes that will change your life!
Right click on the links below and choose “Save Link/Target As” to download them to your computer. (Print them out to read at your leisure!)

The Guard Your Eyes Handbook.

The Guard Your Eyes Attitude.

The GuardUrEyes E-mail Chizuk Lists

The Yetzer Hara thinks of new ways to win us over every day. What better way to combat him than to have some chizuk and a new insight every day!

List 1.The GuardUrEyes Chizuk List – Breaking Free.
Receive each day antidotes, tips, articles or quotes from the holy texts, therapists and fellow strugglers, to help you break free of sexual addictions, pornography and/or masturbation.

List 2.General Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim
This list will focus less on the “addiction” aspect and more on general Chizuk in Shmiras Ainayim that anyone can use, addicted or not. This list is less intense and explicit than the first, and is appropriate for everyone.

Please note: We strongly advise anyone who struggles with masturbation or pornography, even if infrequently, to join the first list as well.

Click here to join one (OR BOTH) of the Chizuk lists described below.

The tools on GuardUrEyes network include:

       Two Daily Chizuk List options (hundreds of members!)

       Hundreds of tips; divided into categories; tips from therapists, tips from other sites and from fellow strugglers.

       An active and thriving forum – a powerful feature of group support

       The “Jewish Healing Group“, an anonymous 12-Step group that meets on the phone once a week

       A live hotline, for people to get advice and started on their journey to recovery

       Sign up for a Partner / Sponsor. Download the Questionnaire

       Many stories of recovery, struggles and suffering

       An elaborate FAQ page

       Over 20 filter options, and everything a person could want to know about filters

       Important links

       A section on the 12 steps

       A "Kosher Isle" to help people find entertaining and more productive things to do with their time

       Download here a powerful PDF file, translated from a Hebrew book called "The First Day of the Rest of My Life", to help people break free of sexual addictions

       A Rehab Option in Florida

       Many Therapy Options

       An inspiring Music Page, to chase away the impurity and inspire thoughts of Teshuvah

       A "Wall of Honor" page, to keep track of your sobriety and get group support

How Can You Help?

Source: GuardUrEyes

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Daily Writings on Kabbalah and Torah 20th Av 5769

 

Everyone has different abilities depending on the tribe they represent. Let us all unify and work together in the battle against the Sitra Acher.

WISDOM CAN ONLY BE LOWERED TO A CERTAIN POINT – IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT READ IT OVER TWO THREE TIMES AND THINK ABOUT IT

Regarding the nations request for meat while in the desert

–  Know that the generation of the desert reached levels that were never reached again.
–  In addition they only ate mun, a totally spiritual food.
–  All this nullified their physical desires totally.
–  They didn’t feel human any more, some of them couldn’t handle this.
–  Meaning a person is defined by his conscious awareness which is normally over whelmed with his physical desires.
–  When a person loses his desires, his goals, he loses his self definition.
–  Those people who were not ready to stand such a state of being, complained.
–  They complained for meat.
–  Meat causes one to have physical desires.

Source: TrueKabbalah.org

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Teachings of the Sages 20th Av 5769

 

ON MAN’S PLACE IN THE WORLD AND MESSIANIC REDEMPTION

R’ Pinchas’s Parshas Vayeira is a commentary on the words “… and Avrahom was one hundred years old when his son Yitzchok was born.” Why was Yitzchok not born during his parents’ youth? Because Yitzchok was the first person to be born a Jew. A Jew is above the laws of nature, just as Yitzchok’s birth was, and this phenomenon has stayed with the Jewish people throughout all our years of exile, defying logic. As it says in the Talmudic tractate Sanhedrin: “Three things come as a surprise: Moshiach, a found article, and a scorpion.” The birth of Yitzchok is the first step in the coming of Moshiach.^*

^*Parshas Vayeira of R’ Pinchas, per Rabbi E.E.F., personal communication, 10?26?2007; translation by S.C. (paraphrased), personal communication, 11?2?2007

By Rebbe Pinchas of Koretz

Source: Two Tzaddiks

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Rabbi Nachman Sayings and Teachings 20th Av 5769

 

Rabbi Nachman’s – Sayings & Teachings – From The Essential Rabbi Nachman

A treasury of sayings, teachings, parables and stories by the outstanding Chassidic sage, mystic and visionary, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (1772-1810), whose message of faith, hope, courage, simplicity and joy is essential to each one of us and essential to the whole world.

Translated by Rabbi Avraham Greenbaum

The print edition is now available. Order now For shipping in Israel, click here

HITBODEDUT MEDITATION AND PERSONAL PRAYER – Talk to G-d a lot

Talk to G-d a lot! Think carefully about your purpose in this world and what you are doing with your life. Take yourself in hand. Plead with G-d to have mercy on you and help you serve Him. Make up your own pleas and arguments in your own words, using whatever language you speak best.

Anyone who follows this practice for a period of time each day will certainly succeed in finding G-d. Even if you think you have been doing this for days and years without achieving what you want, keep firm and persist, because in the end you will reach your goal.

This was how King David composed the Book of Psalms. King David’s main time for his private prayers to G-d was when he lay on his bed at night. He would hide under the covers and pour out his heart to G-d. King David said: “Every night I converse from my bed in tears…” (Psalms 6:7) . Happy is the person who makes this a regular practice, because it is supremely exalted.

Siach Sarfey Kodesh 1-2

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov
“It is a great mitzvah to be happy.”

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Azamra means “I will sing” (Psalms 146:2)

“And the way to sing the song of joy is by seeking the good in all people, especially in ourselves. Each good point is one more note in the song of life!”

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov

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Avodah Perek Shira 20th Av 5769

 

Perek Shira – 20th Av, 5769

Perek Shira: Me-owch! The Galus is a Game of Cat & Mouse

The Knaf Renanim says that the cat is not a predator by nature. It is quite domesticated. The one thing the cat can’t stand is a mouse. This intense hatred towards a specific animal is unique to the cat among the animals. The mouse he says, although it seems like it only causes damage, that is only when it comes above ground to steal some food. However in its natural habitat below the ground, the mouse serves an important function in the world, even though we don’t know what that function is. Hashem created the cat’s ingrained hatred to keep the mouse where it belongs.

The Knaf Renanim says the Nimshal is Torah. The cat is the Yetzer Hara, the mouse is Am Yisroel and the ground is where the Torah is. I once heard a similar explanation with the Nimshal being the Galus. In Galus, Bnei Yisroel has been thrown to the ground. We are to remain there, absorbed only in Torah and Mitzvos. The big world out there with all its attractions is not for us. We are not invited to the party right now. If we stay underground and out of sight, we will remain safe and protected. When we become “curious” and venture out to enjoy the Gashmiyus the world has to offer, the cat or the “Umos HaOlam” become unhappy that we infringing on their turf. They are Hashem’s messengers to send us scampering back to where we belong.

Sometimes we venture out too far. The cat sees us and we run but we can’t make it back to our hole and we are caught. The cat mercilessly persecutes us and kills us with no chance of escape. The Knaf Renanim says that cat catches his prey batters it and then lets it go. The mouse thinks he has broken loose, but this is just a game. After a few feet he grabs him again and pummels him once more. After a few rounds of this game he finally eats him (I saw this with my own eyes once).

The cat says to the mouse, “Im Tagbia KaNesher V’Im Bein Kochavim Sim Kinecha M’Sham Oiridcha N’um Hashem”, if you choose to rise up to places you don’t belong, I will bring you down. “Erdof Oivai VaAsigaim V’Lo Ashuv Ad Kaloisum” I will chase my enemy and not return until I wipe him out.

When caught the mouse says, “V’Ata Tzadik Al Kol Haba Aleinu Ki Emes Asisa V’Anachnu Hirshanu”; you are justified in all you do. You are correct and we have been wicked.

It’s been a long galus with us buried in the ground. The times we’ve come up we’ve been hunted and killed. Hang in there and don’t leave your place. Our time will soon come and HaKadosh Boruch Hu will say, “Hisnari MeiAfar Kumi”; brush off the earth and rise once again. Bimheira Biyameinu Amein!

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On this day Limud yomi for 20th Av 5769

 

Courtesy of gicleegallery.us

Limud yomi

Daf yomi: Bava Metzia 107
Yerushalmi yomi: Shavuot 25
Mishna yomit: Ohalot 13:3
Halacha yomit: Orach Chaim 325:14
Tanach yomi: Kohelet Seder 1
Shabbat parshiot: Re’eh

From: Kaluach – Hebrew/civil calendars

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Daily Teachings of the Baal Shem Tov 20th Av 5769

 

 

I heard in the name of my grandfather (the Baal Shem Tov): Our Sages state that whoever renounces idolatry is called a Jew (Megillah 13a). Self-importance is a form of idolatry. Thus, whoever renounces self-importance is called a Jew.

(Degel Machaneh Ephraim, Purim)

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Daily Torah Quote 20th Av 5769

 

 

Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, the first rebbe of the Lubavitch dynasty, led the services for Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year. He stood wrapped in his prayer shawl, profoundly entranced in the cleaving of the soul to its Source. Every word of prayer he uttered was fire. His melody and fervor carried the entire community off to the highest and the deepest journey of the spirit. Then he stopped. He cast off his prayer shawl and left the synagogue. With a bewildered congregation chasing behind, he walked briskly to the outskirts of town, to a small dark house from where was heard the cry of a newborn infant. The rabbi entered the house, chopped some wood and lit a fire in the oven, boiled some soup and cared for the mother and child that lay helpless in bed. Then he returned to the synagogue and to the ecstasy of his prayer. The Rebbe (the last Lubavitch Rebbe) added: Note that the rabbi removed his prayer shawl. To help someone, you must leave your world, no matter how serene, to enter the place where that person lives.

From: Breslev.co.il

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Bringing Heaven Down to Earth 20th Av 5769

 

The Tzaddik

By Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

Daily Dose – Today’s Meditation – The Tzaddik

From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Schneerson, of righteous memory; words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman. To order Tzvi’s book, “Bringing Heaven Down to Earth, click here.

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Tikun Habris 20th Av 5769

 

Tikun Habris is the most important topic to discuss in this low generation, and no one is dealing with it.

If you are Jewish then you are part of the Holy nation. Have mercy on your holy soul and stop blemishing it with the sin of wasting seed. Take heed of what the kabbalah says and stop committing this sin of wasting seed.

Rebbe Nachman of Breslev on Shmiras Habris

These are only the basic references about Tikun Hbris. The torahs have a lot more about this topic. We strongly suggest that everyone learn Likutay Maharan.

A method of removing thoughts of Znus (impure thoughts) is to say the verse of Shma and Bruch Shem.

[Likutay 1 Torah 36]

A Wonderous Segulah to rectify oneself and to rectify Nefesh Ruach and Neshama. Culled from the Holy ARIZALs works to be said every day after prayers.

Tikun Mem Ches from the Tikunei Zohar has the Segulah to bring that which is precious and holy out of what has fallen into spiritual darkness and to rectify the sins related to the Bris Kodesh.

Whomever says it will be worthy of many wonderous things relating to body and soul.

Click here to download “A Wonderous Segulah“.

Free E-Book “You Shall Be Holy“, click here to download.

Source: TrueKabbalah.org

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SelfGrowth Keep Smiling 20th Av 5769

 

 

Not for the rewards

We shouldn’t desire greatness for the rewards it brings us, but rather for the benefits we can bring to our world and the people who people it.

Have a growth-filled, uplifting day

By: Rabbi Avraham Tzvi Schwartz of “Self-Growth”

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“Heavenly Ways” gives us a Torah-based point of view 176 topics, affirmations to accelerate our journey along healthful, heavenly ways. To see excerpt, click here.

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“A Handful of Light” expands on the very short, powerful “Letter of the Ramban” with classic mussar and outlook ideas. (287 pages) To see an excerpt, click here.

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“Wealth – A Torah Approach” contains over 700 teachings from the Torah, Prophets and our earliest sages on this continually perplexing subject. Click here for an excerpt.

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Todays Mussar Quote 19th Av 5769

 

Today 19th Av, 5769 – Mussar Quote

Show extra sensitivity to another person.

By Rabbi Zvi Miller.

Daily eMussar

Salant Foundation’s eMussar(sm) gives you a piece of practical wisdom and perspective for your daily life…in just 3 or 4 minutes a day!

These practical character enhancement and personal growth tools stay impact your mind and your character….and you’ll likely have a chance to try out these inspiring insights and lessons almost every day.

Just so you know, “mussar” is the traditional name for the teaching of character development and personal growth. And Salant Foundation’s eMussar delivers this perspective to you every day via e-mail.

It’s FREE…so why not sign up now, please send email to salant@netvision.net.il

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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi Day 78 Impure Intentions

 

Shmiras Haloshon Yomi – Learning the Laws of Proper Speech – 17 Av, 5769

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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi

19 Av, 5769

Day 78 – Impure Intentions

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM – Laws of Loshon Hora 10:3

      In this halachah, we see how crucial a role one’s intentions play in determining whether our actions or statements are praiseworthy. The Chofetz Chaim informs us that derogatory information may be spoken for a constructive purpose only if the speaker is not guilty of the very sin that he is exposing. One who does suffer from the same fault he wishes to expose must remain silent on this matter.

      The source for this halachah is the episode in Scripture where King Yeihu was held accountable by Hashem for murdering King Achav’s household, though he was fulfilling a Divine prophecy that Achav’s family would be destroyed because of its idol worship. Because Yeihu, too, was guilty of a degree of idol worship, he had no right to punish those who were guilty of this sin. Therefore Hashem decreed, “And I shall bring to account the blood of [Achav who was killed in] Yizrael upon the house of Yeihu” (Hoshea 1:4)

      Why should this factor be significant? If one witnesses a misdeed and can have it rectified by reporting it, why should his own lapses matter? The Chofetz Chaim answers, “This person’s intention in revealing this hidden matter is not for the good, out of fear of Hashem. Rather, he wants to shame his fellow and rejoice over his misfortune.” In other words, it is inconceivable that such a person would reveal this information with pure intentions

      For example, if someone cheats in business, it is impossible that his motivation would be pure in talking about someone else’s business lapses. His true motivation, says the Chofetz Chaim, is a desire to ridicule the wrongdoer. (If the businessman sincerely wishes to save others from this person’s lapses, he should discuss the matter with a rav.)

      There is a message here. Our Sages tell us (Kiddushin 70a) that one who degrades another person often does so regarding the very fault which he himself possesses. Sometimes, we notice faults in others because we have them within ourselves. The Torah, in the laws of loshon hora, recognizes this principle and tells us that before we speak against others, we must first correct ourselves

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