Words of Hope

 

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Words of Hope
 
Even if a sharp sword is against your neck, don’t give up from praying.
Rav Talmud Berachos
 
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Words of Wisdom

 

RevachL'Neshama
 
Words of Wisdom
 
My House is destroyed, My nation in captivity, My city in ruins. How can I be consoled?
Kinos L’Tisha B’Av
 
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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi Between Husband and Wife

 

Shmiras Haloshon Yomi – 10 Av, 5769 / July 29, 2009

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Shmiras Haloshon Yomi

10 Av, 5769 / July 29, 2009

Day 71 – Between Husband and Wife

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM – Laws of Loshon Hora 8:10-11

The Chofetz Chaim now turns his focus in a different direction — to whom am I forbidden to relate loshon hora? He answers, “There is no difference regarding this prohibition, whether the listener is one’s relative or someone distant, or even one’s own wife — unless it is something of which he must inform her for a constructive purpose.”

The Chofetz Chaim focuses on a very typical situation. A husband comes home and his wife asks, “How was your day?” or, “What’s new in shul (synagogue)?” The Chofetz Chaim cautions us strongly against using such questions as a forum for telling one’s wife of any arguments or other unpleasant encounters which he had during the course of the day. Not only is this loshon hora, but it does further damage, since the wife, out of loyalty to her husband, is likely to harbor animosity towards the person whom the husband feels has wronged him. This may lead to her finding the opportunity to castigate the man or his family members, so that a situation which could have been resolved, will instead become a full-scale feud between families.

The Chofetz Chaim adds a bit of marital advice. He says that if a husband habitually complains to his wife about the slights and indignities which he perceives have been heaped upon him, then he actually lowers himself in her eyes. She begins to believe that others do not respect him, and that perhaps he is not really worthy of respect. The Chofetz Chaim quotes Avos D’Rabbi Nassan (7:3) which explains the words of the Mishnah, “Do not speak excessively with a woman,” as making exactly this point; excessive complaining to his wife lowers a man’s esteem in her eyes.

The Chofetz Chaim points out that there are clearly cases of toeles (constructive purpose) where spouses are allowed to, and ought to, share information. This applies to business partnerships, as well. Certainly one partner can warn the other about problems with a potential vendor or customer. However, one must be careful to release only that negative information which is absolutely essential.

If it is possible to solve the problem without saying anything negative, then that is the strategy required. For example, your wife says, “Mrs. Klein invited us to dinner next week.” But you have reason to believe that the kashrus level in the Klein’s house does not meet your standards. To avoid speaking loshon hora you should think of some benign reason for declining the invitation. If your wife finds your excuse unreasonable and is upset, then you may tell her your real reason.

In truth, there are many ways to protect a spouse, business associate or oneself from harmful from her aunt and cousins people or situations without resorting to loshon hora. Although it might take a little effort or ingenuity, our Sages assure us that the dividends will surely be well worth our while.

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Today 10th Av 5769 Little Mitzvos

 

Today 10th Av, 5769 – “Little Mitzvos

Little Mitzvos Org

You may think, how does one little Mitzvo help . . .

Our times are calling out to us to do Teshuva, but it’s too hard for us to change our lives. Even when we try, we end up reverting back to nothing, everything as was. We MUST show HaShem that we are seeing the signs and that it means something to us.

In this way, when HaShem asks what did we did, we can reply “I took this on…”

You must not consider this “Little Mitzvos” as a replacement for the Shulchan Oruch – you must continue learning Halochos via mainstream Seforim and with Shiurim.

Brochos

In Kaddish – have special K’vana for yehe shemy raba.

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Revach Lists Yerushalayim 10th Av 5769

 

Revach Lists – Yerushalayim – 10th Av, 5769

Revach Lists

70 Names Of Yerushalayim

The Medrash says the Yerushalayim has 70 names, just like Hashem has 70 names, there are 70 nations, Yaakov went to Mitzrayim with 70 people, the Sanhedrin has 70 members, as well as other 70s. To see a list of 78 names by which Yerushalayim is referred to in Tanach click here to see Revach Lists.

You can also view our new list of the 24 Mishmaros Kohanim.

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The Seforim Room Introduction 10th Av 5769

 

The Seforim Room Introduction – 10th Av, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

A Tribute To The Book That Was Never Written

As the last remaining survivors of the generation that suffered through the holocaust reach their golden years, a deluge of books and memoirs have flooded the market, and rightfully so. Each survivor’s story is unique and needs to be retold. The Belzer Rebbe said that anyone who survived the ordeal surely had two Malachim protecting them on either side. That makes for interesting and important reading.

What’s unique about every single book that is published is that these firsthand accounts are all told by survivors. Not to diminish their stories, as each person’s survival was worse than death many times over, however where are the books by the people who were murdered, starved to death, gassed, burned, and a thousand other cruel life ending tortures? What was their end like and what did they learn from their experience?

Each one of them was died Al Kiddush Hashem and we don’t even have single first hand account of their experience in death. How does it feel to be beaten so badly that you don’t survive? What was it like when their Neshama could not take it any more and tore itself from their bodies? How does the Malach HaMaves confront a person who dies Al Kiddush Hashem? How are they greeted in Shamayim? What justice do they see from the vantage point of the Olam HaEmes? What is the point and how will this all end?

“Etzrach Mi Yitein Eifo V’Yictivun Milai”, I scream, “if only I can write my story” (Kinos 8). Sadly for us, dead people don’t tell stories, only survivors do. Their stories are written in blood not ink, but the author is not among the living to be able to form the words. These unwritten stories come from every generation and from every spot on earth where our ancestors carried their weary bodies and spirit. These stories come from places where they hoped to escape the bitter Galus and enjoy a brief respite, but more often than not the Tzaros caught up with them faster than they imagined.

Today we sit on the floor and say the Kinos as well as read the stories of the few remaining survivors from Klal Yisroel’s most recent tragedy. These stories shed some light on the pain but they are missing the punch line. However one glorious day in the near future we will be zocheh to read these unwritten stories.

Today we honor the still unpublished story that will one day arise from the ashes and bring Moshiach on its cover. It will surely be the all time bestseller. The title? “Hashem Melech, Hashem Malach, Hashem Yimloch L’Olam Va’ed.”

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Daily Reminder 10th Av 5769

 

Daily Reminder – 10th Av, 5769

RevachL'Neshama

Zechiras Miriam

Stop Loshon Hora
Stop Loshon Hora

Guarding The Keilim of The Bais HaMikdash

The Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh in Parshas Pinchos brings from the Alshich HaKadosh that the mouth of person is like a Kli Shareis of the Bais HaMikdash because the greatest Kedusha is Kedushas HaTorah. Therefore your mouth, just like the Keilim of the Bais HaMikdash may not be used even for mundane matters and certainly not for Devarim Assurim.

“Zachor Eis Asher Asa Hashem L’Miriam BaDerech B’Tzaischem MiMitzrayim”

The Ramban and other Rishonim count, among the Mitzvos Aseh Min HaTorah, the mitzva of remembering and saying with your mouth each day what Hashem did to Miriam when she spoke about her brother Moshe. The Chofetz Chaim in Shaar Tvunah Perek 12 says that being Mikayem this mitzva can save you from the aveira of Lashon Hara. More than just saying the pasuk, says the Chofetz Chaim, one must think about the incident in order for it to have its intended effect.

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