In the Words of the Sages – 1st Shvat, 5771

January 5, 2011

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

With the tzitzit, as with the brass snake, “every one that is bitten, when he sees it he shall live.”

– Zohar III 175a.

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Joke of the day – 1st Shvat, 5771

January 5, 2011

In a little seen item in the Jerusalem News, there was a major theft of a warehouse loaded with egg enriched dough. Unfortunately, this happened right before the upcoming Shabbat. This will force all of the bakeries to bake their Shabbat challahs with plain, white flour. Leading rabbis were quoted as saying that they are appalled by the rise in “white challah crimes.”

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In the Words of the Sages – 29th Tevet, 5771

January 4, 2011

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

Said Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai: When a person rises in the morning and dons the tefillin and tzitzit … the Divine Presence dwells upon this person and proclaims: “You are My servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified!”

– Zohar Chadash, Terumah 41d.

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Joke of the day – 29th Tevet, 5771

January 4, 2011

The rabbi in my son’s Talmud class at Yeshiva was always so engrossed in the text being studied that he never looked up. He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and, without realizing it, he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the students would never point this out to him. After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the rabbi said “Goldberg, translate and explain.” Goldberg replied, “Goldberg is absent today.” “All right,” said the rabbi. “You translate and explain.”

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In the Words of the Sages – 28th Tevet, 5771

January 3, 2011

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

Whoever observes the mitzvah of tzitzit, it is considered as if he has observed the entire Torah.

– Pesikta Zutreta Shelach.

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Joke of the day – 28th Tevet, 5771

January 3, 2011

Moishe walks into a post office to send a package to his wife. The postmaster says, “This package is too heavy, you’ll need another stamp.” Moishe replies, “And that should make it lighter?!”

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In the Words of the Sages – 27th Tevet, 5771

January 2, 2011

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

The numerical value of the word tzitzit is 600, with eight strings and five knots — this equals 613, the amount of the commandments of the Torah.

– Pesikta Zutreta Shelach.

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Joke of the day – 27th Tevet, 5771

January 2, 2011

An elderly Jewish couple, heading to Hawaii for their vacation, got into an argument about the correct pronunciation of Hawaii. He was sure it was Havaii, but she maintains that it was Hawaii. As soon as they landed they asked the first person they saw, “Would you mind telling me the name of this island?” “Havaii!” the man replied. “Thanks”, answered the man. “You’re Velcome,” the man replied.

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In the Words of the Sages – 26th Tevet, 5771

January 1, 2011

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

Whoever observes the mitzvah of tzitzit, regarding him it is said (Zechariah 8:23): “In those days, when ten men of all the languages of the nations shall take hold of the corners of the garment of a Jewish man, saying, ‘Let us go with you, for we have heard that G-d is with you.’”

– Sifri Numbers 115.

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Joke of the day – 26th Tevet, 5771

January 1, 2011

A little compact car smashed into the rear of Cohen’s Cadillac as he made a left turn. The driver of the little car was furious. “Why didn’t you put out your hand?” he demanded. “What’s the point?” shrugged Cohen. “If you can’t see my Cadillac, how could you see my hand?”

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In the Words of the Sages – 24th Tevet, 5771

December 30, 2010

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

“The L-rd desires for the sake of Israel’s righteousness to make the Torah great and glorious” (Isaiah 42:21). G-d did not leave anything in His world which does not involve a mitzvah for Israel. Humans wear clothing, so G-d commanded to attach tzitzit to their garments.

– Midrash Rabbah Numbers 17:7.

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Joke of the day – 24th Tevet, 5771

December 30, 2010

Three guys are about to be executed and are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. The Italian responds, Pepperoni Pizza, which he is served and then is executed. The Frenchmen requests a Filet Mignon, which he is served and then executed. The Jew requests a plate of strawberries. “STRAWBERRIES????” asks the executioner….”But they are out of season!” “So,” he responds, “I’ll wait . . .”

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In the Words of the Sages – 23rd Tevet, 5771

December 29, 2010

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

G-d told Abraham: “You told the king of Sodom, ‘Neither from a thread to a shoe strap, nor will I take from whatever is yours’ (Genesis 14:23). I swear that as a reward I will give your children the mitzvah of the tzitzit thread.”

– Midrash Rabbah Genesis 43:13.

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Joke of the day – 23rd Tevet, 5771

December 29, 2010

Back in 1889, Sid and Leah’s bull took sick and died. Sid couldn’t leave the farm. So Leah was the one to go to the auction in town and buy a new one. If she was successful they would borrow their neighbor’s wagon and pick up their newly purchased bull. The bidding was furious at the livestock auction. Leah put a bid on the last bull, and finally she was the successful bidder. She only had ten cents left and the train home was fifty cents. She ran to send her husband a telegram, but each word cost ten cents. She thought a bit and then wrote: “COMFORTABLE.”

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In the Words of the Sages – 22nd Tevet, 5771

December 28, 2010

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

A Torah scholar must be proficient in the laws of tzitzit.

– Talmud Chulin 9a.

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Joke of the day – 22nd Tevet, 5771

December 28, 2010

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a Lubavitcher chassid sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, “Rabbi, you are a man of G-d, can’t you do something about this storm?” To which he replied, “Lady, I’m in sales, not management…”

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In the Words of the Sages – 21st Tevet, 5771

December 27, 2010

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

“This is my G-d and I will beautify Him” (Exodus 15:2). Be beautiful before him with mitzvot … a beautiful tallit.

– Talmud Shabbat 133b.

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Joke of the day – 21st Tevet, 5771

December 27, 2010

Max Greenburg was at his favorite eatery, when he called over the waiter. “Yes?” asked the busy waiter. “Are you sure you’re the waiter I ordered from?” asked Max. “Why do you ask?” replied the waiter. Riposted the customer, “Because I was expecting a much older man by now.”

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In the Words of the Sages – 20th Tevet, 5771

December 26, 2010

A Selection of Aggadaic Sayings about Tzitzit

 

One who meticulously observes the mitzvah of tzitzit is rewarded with [the resources to afford] a nice wardrobe.

– Talmud Shabbat 23b.

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Joke of the day – 20th Tevet, 5771

December 26, 2010

The rabbi’s son, who just got his driver’s license, asked his father if they could discuss the option of his using the family car. “Bring your grades up, study your Talmud, get your hair cut and then we’ll talk about it,” was the reply. A month later the son came to his father with the same request. The father said, “Son, I’ve been very proud of you. You’ve brought up your grades, you’ve studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut.” The young man waited before responding: “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Rambam had long hair and even Noach had long hair.” The rabbi said: “Yes, and they walked everywhere they went.”

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